The Griffs

The hot English winter day of February 21, 2009, would forever change the lives of 12 young boys and 1 old man from South West London. When an urgent plea came from Griffin Walrus to come and assist his defence against an approaching force of over 50 Hampstead and Westminster men, they came from every direction and all walks of life. This is their story . . .

As the Griffins responded to Captain Walrus’s call, the Westminster enemy approached! They instigated many skirmished along the way. One of these skirmishes took place in the early hours of Saturday morning on the DLR. This specific skirmished resulted in the injury and near fatality of a Griffin Spicko, sadly he was unable to stop their advances. Griffin Spicko used his wireless to radio in, his voice weak and trembling….he informed me that he was not going to make it to the battle! During the first three hours of the enemy’s advance, they not only reduced our numbers but they tore up 60 miles of track and burned two trains and several stations along the way.

A quote from Griffin Don: “. . . I happened to be the scout that day. I was stationed on the same side of the river with Westminster’s forces on a high hill that overlooked the entire field. When I saw the train roll in and saw the enemy disembarking, I felt sure that their men were being reinforced by every train. The Griffins were outnumbered I was worried for them”

Mulberry Hill plantation was located on a commanding hill near the battlefield and the grounds of the house served as the headquarters and canteen during the battle. It is said that Mr and Mrs. Smithers, would work hard during the battle to be able to provide sustenance to the wounded and battled beaten Griffins after the final onslaught

The Scene was set….
At 13:30, the teams met on the Quinton Hogg Battle Ground. Captain Walrus and his Army of Griffins had their strategy. They strength lay in their faced paced attack and victory depended on it. Victory for Westminster depended upon a steady flow of supplies though the midfield and down the right corridor. Walrus knew that if these supply lines could be destroyed, Westminster would have to abandon Quinton Hogg Grounds in defeat.

As the battle commenced the Griffins were receiving heavy fire from the enemy artillery on the other side of the field. Mere minutes into the battle and the griffins were men down. Not only was Griffin Spicko injured earlier in the morning but Griffin Rog, a veteran to such a battle, was hit in the leg and unable to continue in the battle. It was tough out there and the Griffins were just getting over the news about Old Rog when they were hit again this time Griffin Just Andrew took a shell to the knee and was stretched off! Moral was getting down and the Griffin troops were taking a beating but they defended their position with ferocity and gusto. The Griffins needed to get back to their strategy and to accomplish this, Walrus planned a raid to tear up the left corridor to destroy the Westminster Defences. However on the attack the enemy engaged in a desperate defence. They managed to hold their position!

Sadly the Griffins lost another man, this time Griffin Chappers took one to the back. The battle came to a halt for re-grouping. Things were looking grim for the Griffins not taking any advantage but on a positive note had not conceded neither!
With the troops looking very despaired Captain Walrus tried to raise morale and provide a positive spin on the recent events….but all in vain., it was only when Griffin Rory Campbell aka Baaar came forth and scolded the troops: “Griffins…… it’s 2 o’clock and you are all shit! I opened up on them with a 3-inch rifled gun, six pieces of artillery and a 12 pound Napolean, but for some inexplicable defect in my GUNS, I fell short of the mark and my efforts in vain. We have to ask ourselves are we Good Enough?…. Yes troops we are good enough but right now we are shit – sort yourselves out or we will die here today” ……. Some might say harsh others would say fair!

The battle continued. The Griffin numbers had been destroyed by the Westminster enemy and perhaps Griffin Baaar’s Speech – only time would tell! They were now badly outnumbered without Griffins, Spicko, Rog, Just Andrew and Chappers it was going to be tough.

The Griffins continued to defend their position and one occasion Griffin Gerald dived in front of a shell to ensure it would not penetrate our position. He deflected the shell and managed to survive with nothing more than a mere scratch on his arm. Having finally reached a shallow drainage ditch some 100 yards of our defensive position, the Griffin troops organized for what was to be the first of three separate charges, When the Griffin forces left the drainage ditch for their first assault on the goal, they were met by intense fire from Westminster’s men who had been hidden from view in their shallow trenches around the bridge, however Griffin Pacman managed a smooth strike from a stealth position on a short corner that defeated Westminster’s defence. Soon after Griffin Chemo lead an assaulting party and directed it up the embankment, in the hope that by a quick move they might obtain possession of the main defensive position long enough to penetrate it. The Griffins did well on the assault and it was Griffin Chemo himself that picked up an enemy 3” field gun and blasted a second strike that destroyed Westminster’s defence. Finally the 3rd charge came when Griffin Smithers made a run over enemy lines down the left corridor and found himself in a dog fight. No one really knows but it is claimed the he had to penetrate the goal line with a cunning ploy of nakedness! He fought well and survived!

The Westminster men tried repeatedly to gain a foothold on the battle ground, and to advance along the sides of the embankment, but could not and failed miserably with the Griffins having lead 3 successful charges and Westminster none.

After the battle the Griffins gathered there wounded and retreated back to the safety of Mulberry Hill where Mrs and Mr Smither’s provided them with some well needed food and drink. The Griffins celebrated late into the evening drinking newly brewed ale and freshly hunted hog.

They reflected: for the 13 local citizens that made up the Griffin Old Man and Young Boys Brigade, the fight was over, and an important supply line had been protected for Captain Walrus and his army of Griffins. They had proudly answered the call to arms and, in the face of overwhelming odds, distinguished themselves on the field of battle. Over the years, the stories about their victory on that hot winter afternoon at the bridge will be retold countless times and will become an important part of the proud heritage of The Griffins.

Proudly reported by
Raggy Omar
Griffin News

27/02/2009