Anyone drop a few Spence?
Saturday saw the Griffins return to their home turf on a mission spelt “redemption”, after the previous week’s crushing defeat at the hands of the 2As. This week against the Spencer 4s , in an epic display of humility, they snatched victory; a defeat that could only have been more appropriately administered had the opponents been bent over on the halfway line and the Griffins wielding six foot maroon rubber d1ld0s.
The start of the match threatened to cast further shadows over the controversial form of the Griffs this season, with some pre-match administration antics by the infamous, newly appointed leader: Lenny “Fritzl” Struanberg. In an attempt to save face (accompanied by the customary stern frown and air of defiance), he blamed his installation of Excel for the confusion that left the Griffs pushing back and completing with 11 players, initially expecting a compliment 13. I can report that a rumour was circulated, indicating that this “list” has been forwarded to Griffin Chemo for formula ratification ahead of the impending games. A spurious use of the “AVE” function is suspected. More to follow.
Despite the early chaos, the Griffs took to the park with a look of determination and an illustration of depth as some key players were reshuffled into unfamiliar positions, not least Griffin Gerald at left half from his usual attacking forward role. A protracted 10 minutes of intense competition passed before the first attempt at goal drifted wide of the Spencer goal keeper. Several more attempts were stifled by some tight marking, “a little tighter than was comfortable” it was reported by one of the more diverse Griffin forwards, “but with a name like ‘Spencer’, I am surprised they even made it out of the changing rooms”. Several tense moments ensued when the defence was penetrated by the Spencer forwards leaving Greenman to carve and serve the perpetrators with great efficiency in his D. With 12 minutes remaining in the first half, Griffin Pykey Pykey retrieved a well placed pass from his link, pivoted on the p-spot and curved the ball around the Spencer keeper; a move that was celebrated with much gusto and affection all the way back to the halfway line. This euphoria seemed to momentarily distract the Griffs though, allowing a Spencer forward the rare opportunity of running with the ball only to slot a well placed equaliser in the back of the net shortly afterwards. The Griffs were jolted back to reality, not least by a series of expletives resonating from the cage by an ordinarily composed Griffin Greenman. The half-time whistle was blown at one goal apiece.
Clearly motivated by a few choice words from the experienced and recently returning Judge, saw two confident teams return to the centre for the start of the 2nd half. The tactical substitutions from the bench by the opposition seemed eager to get involved and stamp their mark on the game. This enthusiasm was soon tempered by some well-timed, unseen warning hacks and shoulder charges to the rib cages. Feeling the weight of early season fitness levels and no substitutions baring down on their shoulders, the Griffins dug deep and strung together a series awe-inspiring attacking moves from the backs though to the forwards. In a display of double brilliance, a streak of silver across the park (later identified as Griffin Old Raj), was spotted heading south across the pitch, reappearing into space and marginally missing a pass from the deep, in what could have and would have been the goal of the third decade, architected by a visionary Baar. A visibly rattled Spencer responded by showing some cracks (figuratively speaking) and allowing Tony Blair, Frodo, Lenny and a clearly concussion-free Pacmac to receive and run with the ball as God intended. Clearly finding their rhythm, an ingenious slap from outside of the D and a well-sold dummy by the Raj left the Spencer keeper floundering out of position, providing griffin Chemo with an early Christmas present in the form of an open goal on the right post. The one-man crowd erupted into rapturous applause and a spontaneous Mexican Wave. In complete disregard for their dignity, the Griffins again threw caution to the wind and celebrated the goal in a fashion that may have offended the opposition. On interview, Griffin Chemo still maintains that he had wagged his index finger in the air at the keeper.
Nevertheless, play resumed and despite a run of 4 back-to-back short corners, the Griffin defence held strong and the final whistle blew, concluding the first win of the season and awarding the Griffs an average win-rate of 50% thus far. A well-deserved loiter was undertaken seeing numerous Griffins awarded for their role in the victory: Lenny Struanberg again holding onto the much coveted Rory Campbell Award of Excellence, and the elusive Nick Bentley from somewhere in central Africa on a top-secret mission (that sly old sonofagun), nominated Gerald as the MVP.
Next week sees the Griffins take on Southgate at home on the sand. I look forward to a packed stadium and another display of classy hockey.
Griffin News, Raggy Omar reporting.
